Jim was from Yorkshire. He didn’t like fancy food, people from Lancashire, or modern art. His daughter Tessa took him to an art show. It was full of abstract paintings.
‘Any fool could paint them,’ Jim said. ‘How can a blue splodge be a nude woman with a fan? Why don’t they just call it, ‘Blue splodge?’ I could do better than that.’
‘Go on then,’ said Tessa.
Jim bought paints and canvas. A year later his picture was accepted by the Royal Academy of Arts for its summer exhibition.
‘It’s just lots of big red splodges,’ said Tessa. ‘What’s it called?’
‘Load of old bollocks,’ said Jim.
Story inspired by Bruce Goodman’s post Picture at an exhibition
Picture by kind permission of the Canham junior art collective.