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China

China 7: Chrysanthemum Wang

 

Copyright Elaine Canham, 2015

Copyright Elaine Canham, 2015

 

Continuing my diary of my 1985 trip to China; here we get a hotel and meet a spotty oik.

7.30 am. Arrive in Xi’an. Outside the railway station there is a sort of quarry filled with people, that looks like something left over from a Cecil B De Mille epic. Everyone stares at us, and when we stop to look at a map, we are in the middle of a crowd six-deep. They’re all desperate to practise their English, but hello is the only word they know.

Everyone is adequately dressed for the cold, but its all utilitarian blue and green. Even Cheryl and Elspeth are wearing the standard padded coats. It makes them look like Victorian teenagers. I’m in my ski suit from C&A on Oxford Street, which the assistant assured me was loved by people in Finland. It’s in a reasonably unassuming greeny grey and mustard yellow, thank god. Neon pink here would stand out like a fan dancer in church. Not that we don’t, as westerners, already stand out.

 

copyright Elaine Canham, 2015

copyright Elaine Canham, 2015

 

Xian is the capital of Shaanxi province and was capital of the Chinese Empire for almost 1,000 years between the 11th century BC and 25 AD. Apparently it was bigger than Rome, Constantinople or Baghdad. The first emperor Qin Shi Huangdi had a million workers toiling to make wide boulevards and eight huge palaces. Nothing left now but a handful of monuments.

There are alleyways teeming with people, and filled with stalls selling everything from a bowl of noodles to a handful of fireworks. There are hardly any cars, but there are thousands of bikes. Some are tricycles pulling carts – there was a man pedalling along with his wife and child in the back. There were two men pushing a whacking great tree trunk down the road, one end balanced on their shoulders, the other on what looked like a pair of pram wheels.

We get to the first hotel in Cheryl’s guide book, but the lobby stinks of cats and they want to charge us £5 a night which is way too expensive. The cat smell is overpowering too, which is strange because cats and dogs are rare in Chinese cities. I think of the stalls that we have just passed; a lot were selling bracelets which looked like they were made of cat-tails.

Then we get to the Renmin Dasha, The People’s Edifice. It is certainly an edifice. The architect must have been having bad dreams about Versailles. Walk up the wide steps and into reception. We are all very, very tired.

Copyright Elaine Canham 2015

Copyright Elaine Canham 2015

 

The girls have got me a student card so I don’t need to pay tourist rates. I had to have a Chinese name for it, and there was a significant amount of arguing about what this should be. Names in China are tricksy things, you see, with many meanings. Elspeth’s name is Ai Bai Yang; Ai translates as Chinese mugwort or wormwood (used in Chinese medicine to alleviate feelings of unease and general malaise), Bai as white or snowy (or reactionary and anti-communist, which can be a bit dodgy considering where we are), and Yang as poplar. Cheryl is slightly hacked off with her name which is three random characters put together to sound like her name, Xie Li Ar – (pronounced sea-air lee ah) and which she thinks is very ugly.

On the safe side (this was all done before I arrived, so I had no say) they went for a flower name for me. My Chinese name, they have decided, is Chrysanthemum Wang. Or possibly Autumn Flower. Wang Jiu Wah. I’m slightly embarrassed by the idea of being called Chrysanthemum. But, secretly, I quite like it.

The desk clerk is a spotty oik who looks distastefully at us, and then at our ID cards.

‘Your names are very provincial,’ he says. ‘Nobody who is anybody is called Chrysanthemum or Poplar these days.’

He asks me when my visa began. ‘I’m sorry, I forgot to look,’ I said.

He looks at me in disgust. ‘Your English is very bad. It is not I forgot to look. It is, I forgot to looking.’ He tapped a small book by his side. ‘I read this in Chapter Seven of my grammar book. You are entirely wrong, I think. Yes?’

‘No!’ we shout, practically in chorus.

The desk clerk opens his mouth, looks at us again and then shuts up and writes our names down in the register.

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About elainecanham

I started blogging because I'm a writer, and I thought I ought to. Now I realise that I blog because I like to; even when I can't think of much to say.

Discussion

21 thoughts on “China 7: Chrysanthemum Wang

  1. I killed myself laughing at the clerk who corrected your English. How haughty of him. 😀 😀 😀

    Posted by Let's CUT the Crap! | February 21, 2015, 2:30 pm
  2. Oh, your name is totally chrysanthemum wang now.
    Your English is very bad. In his Yoda book he is reading this. This was a particularly good installment. I had no idea you were so well travelled. China, England, France, Canada… Time to see the big apple.
    (One error, but I think I know what it is.)

    Posted by naptimethoughts | February 21, 2015, 1:23 pm
    • Well, gee thanks! I think it does give me a certain exotic appeal, doesn’t it? I should be croupier in a James Bond movie. Only I’d have to be completely invisible.
      You mean you made an error, or I made an error? Or was that irony, and did I miss it? I’m like totally hoping to come to the BA. I just have a slight problem with the old exchequer. It’s having children. I blame it all on them.

      Posted by elainecanham | February 21, 2015, 2:00 pm
    • Me too, they are responsible for all the evils in my life.
      You should write a romance novel under that pen name. I’d totally buy a book by Chrysanthemum Wang, sounds sexy.
      It’s grammarly again. I can’t figure out how to delete the program, so now I’m stuck with my grievous errors all tallied up for me in a little red circle at the bottom right of my screen. (Two, by the way, but they consider the name of their own program as a spelling mistake) Not that it bothers me.

      Posted by naptimethoughts | February 21, 2015, 2:54 pm
    • That shows you what nits they are, if they want to correct themselves. I find if I get stuck like that I just put the problem into Google and some nice nerdy type solves it for me.

      Posted by elainecanham | February 21, 2015, 5:23 pm
    • That’s what I had been doing. They sucked me in with Grammarly though. I got taken in one impulsive moment.

      Posted by naptimethoughts | February 21, 2015, 8:20 pm
    • Oh, the flashy glamour of correct syntax. They saw you coming, didn’t they?

      Posted by elainecanham | February 21, 2015, 11:59 pm
  3. I wanted to type out “Chrysanthemum” without using a dictionary, because it you can do that your English is very good. But in the end I looking it up in order to spell it. I didn’t want to get it wong – I mean wang.

    Posted by Bruce Goodman | February 21, 2015, 2:19 am
  4. Interesting images. Do you recall the location where the second image of the moat/bridge construction was taken?

    Posted by Mike's PhoBlography | February 21, 2015, 1:59 am
  5. “He looks at me in disgust. ‘Your English is very bad. It is not I forgot to look. It is, I forgot to looking.’”

    Considering this he probably wouldn’t have corrected you had you told him, You a clazy, clazy man but he might have become a little irked.

    Posted by lbwoodgate | February 20, 2015, 6:29 pm
  6. You gweilo are nothing but trouble are you. Fancy arguing with a poor man who wants to improve your English.
    xxx Huge Hugs xxx

    Posted by davidprosser | February 20, 2015, 12:24 pm

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