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China, humour

China 21: Food for thought

Copyright, Elaine Canham 2015

Copyright, Elaine Canham 2015 

Continuing my 1985 diary of a trip to China

March 1

Woken up at the crack of dawn by the guards. All the guards on all the trains we’ve been on have been women, and a pretty unsmiling lot at that. They crank up the music in all the carriages and everybody stands up and does their morning exercises. It’s done by numbers, 1,2 3, up to ten. A different move for each number. So the three of us get up and have a bash too. The entire carriage is in fits at the sight of us. But they seem very happy that we’ve joined in.

We draw into Cheng Du hours later and its still dark, about 7 am, but kerosene lamps flare everywhere. Outside the station where, I suppose in Britain, you’d see a statue or a little park, is a washroom with no walls; a central wall of mirrors with sinks on either side, neatly tiled in white. People are standing in the floodlit dark, shaving. There are many barrows with people selling hot flannels, noodles, maps  – and oranges! Hundreds of them. Heaps of them! We buy a load, and devour them, spitting the pips, just like the Chinese do, and crush into Bus No 16, seven stops to the Jin Jiang hotel.

Cheng Du is the capital of Sichuan, and it’s supposed to be a pretty amazing place. It’s famous for its cooking, and for being the home of the giant panda. It’s not half so stark as Xian, anyway.

The guide book says the Jin Jiang is big with plenty of internal shops and a bar which stays open until midnight. Gosh. With a tape player. The guide book is right. The place is enormous, there is a man on the gate who says, ‘Good morning,’ a bloke in a blue uniform who stands by the door and says, rather shyly, ‘ Hulloh’, a marble foyer, and reception clerks who speak fluent American. Just one snag. There are no rooms. We have to wait until someone checks out. No, we can’t reserve. Yes, we can have breakfast. We are almost speechless when we see it. Real coffee, real milk, hot toast, butter, jam and get this, an omelette with tomatoes in it. There’s also a plate of swiss roll and biscuits. We eat the lot and clock the Europeans, and the Hong Kong Chinese. We’d almost forgotten what western clothes and haircuts looked like.

Back to reception. When they said we couldn’t reserve, they tell us, they didn’t mean we couldn’t fill out a registration form, like the millions of Japanese tourists are doing; of course we can fill in the forms. So we fill them in, and the clerk puts them in a pile, and we watch them start to move to the top as people begin to check out.

We’re seventh in the pile. There is a coffee lounge! Cheryl and Elspeth meet Alison, another student from Beijing. The morning passes very pleasantly. The Japanese poetry professor from Dunhuang is here. A Kiwi with the improbable name of Frean McSween is here, two more students from Beijing arrive, and one of them must be avoided at all costs on account of the fact that he is the most boring person on the planet.

We get a dormitory room. Three normal beds and a cot in the middle occupied by a really nice American girl called Hannah from New York. Alison couldn’t get a room, she is bedding down on a landing with 20 other people for three kwai a night.

We go to the bus station to find out about buses to Lhasa. It’s a nice walk there, through a park, by a river, and there are lots of old men sitting on tree stumps playing chess, or cards or practising Tai Chi.  There are some weirdly dressed women, their hair brightly braided, with stripy aprons over dark dresses and breeches, that I later discover are Tibetan.

When we get to the bus station, about 20 people gather round to watch our efforts with the officials. They all stare intently at us; they hate it if you stare back, but you can’t stare at them all at once. No wonder westerners here get so stressed at times. It’s like constantly being under a microscope, or being a particularly exotic exhibit in a zoo.

And, of course, we can’t get tickets at the bus station (Mayo La, again) We must go to this place, says the bloke in charge, and he very helpfully writes down the address in Chinese characters. So off we trail, half on a mission, and half beguiled by the sheer energy of this city. It’s sunny and the air is fresh and clean, and the streets are filled with people. There are hardly any cars, of course. A laughing man with a bowl of food in one hand, and a pair of chopsticks in the other inveigles us into a restaurant. The food is excellent, even if there are 15 people outside all watching us stuff our faces.

We spend the afternoon wandering about looking at all the shops, they’re just shacks really, by Western standards, all in winding little streets, like a film set, but they sell such amazing stuff. There’s one very mysterious one with jars of powder and open boxes of, well, wings and claws and dried up things. I swear there’s a dead eagle hanging from the ceiling. Back to the hotel. At dinner time we are given Chinese food, and its ok but the men nearby are having western food – hamburgers and chips, fruit salad and ice cream, and potato salad. We try desperately to attract the waitress’s attention, and eventually she stops by.

‘Can we have western food, too?’

‘No, mayo, You order in advance.’ She has a hard face and is wearing Chinese jeans.

Can we have coffee?’

‘No, mayo.’

‘Why not?’

‘You have to order in advance.’

We grab another waitress.

‘Can we order a western dinner for tomorrow?’

She gets the manager. Oh what a lovely man. Kind faced, good American English, very accommodating. ‘You want Western dinner?’ he asks.

‘Yes,’ says Cheryl.

‘And can we have coffee now?’ asks Elspeth.

‘He beams at us. ‘Sure you can have coffee.’ The hard-faced waitress, hovering nearby, gives us a particularly filthy look.

Then it’s upstairs to the bar, and Alison puts her Bob Dylan and Bob Marley tapes on. One Chinese guy has never heard of either. He stands very close to the tape-player, entranced. He insists on playing Dylan through, twice, and tapes it.

Back upstairs Elspeth goes to bed, but Cheryl and I stay up and drink gin with Helen from New York, who can’t sleep. The chat soon evolves into an argument about politics, which goes something like this – the essential difference between Russia and China is that the former works through paranoia, establishing buffer satellite states to guard against any possible threat of invasion, whereas the Chinese are a supremely self-confident race – who once ruled the known world (as far as it was known to them) and who don’t fear any other state. Helen says, and Cheryl agrees, that the only other country that is similar to China in background is Italy, because both, historically, not only conquered countries but gave them cultures that have lasted for centuries. Russia merely subdues, it doesn’t add anything. What about the British Empire, I say. No, that doesn’t apply, they argue. Its time span is too short and again, it didn’t make the people it conquered, British. It just exploited them and remained staunchly isolationist. I’m not entirely sure they’re right. But I’m too tired to bring up the subject of Tibet. That’s been conquered, and I don’t think the Tibetans feel Chinese. Maybe they will, one day. We all trail off into sleep.

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About elainecanham

I started blogging because I'm a writer, and I thought I ought to. Now I realise that I blog because I like to; even when I can't think of much to say.

Discussion

21 thoughts on “China 21: Food for thought

  1. Hearing Bob Dylan for the first time he must have been entranced!

    Posted by Christy Birmingham | March 9, 2015, 5:04 pm
  2. No mayo for you! Come back one year.
    Way to go finding a girl from my neck of the woods. Whatever she said, she was right 🙂 You played tapes!!!! Did you record them off the radio? I used to do that all the time.
    Your nasty waitress has a voice in my head, by the way. It’s a horrible stereotypically Chinese voice and accent – it’s also the lady that runs the mexican restaurant up the street from my house.

    Posted by naptimethoughts | March 7, 2015, 2:00 am
  3. It must have been an incredible experience and it sounds frustrating at times, like only other places where we don’t know the rules can be…

    Posted by olganm | March 6, 2015, 8:12 pm
  4. I’m going to be sorry when this trip ends, I am so enjoying reading your account.

    Posted by Vivra Beene | March 6, 2015, 4:30 pm
  5. Thank goodness for this wondrous posting. I was starting to feel hungry, cold, and tired. You make me feel I was there!

    Posted by Bruce Goodman | March 6, 2015, 3:32 pm
  6. What a trip this is becoming. I so enjoy your rubbing elbows with the real people of the country. 😀 😀

    Posted by Let's CUT the Crap! | March 6, 2015, 3:32 pm
  7. No Mayo,is it because it’s what they’re expected to do or just an exercise in petty power?
    xxx Huge Hugs xxx

    Posted by davidprosser | March 6, 2015, 2:45 pm
    • It was lots of things, but it didn’t matter to them whether we got served or not. They weren’t running a business in the capitalist sense of the word.

      Posted by elainecanham | March 6, 2015, 6:39 pm
  8. One of the positive things about traveling in a crowded train and then being expected to exercise is that it doesn’t leave you much room to do those god-awful squat thrusts. 🙂

    Frean McSween? What a great fictional character name that will make in one of your novels.

    It must have been so overwhelming for all of you to come out of the dessert into this paradisiac location

    Posted by lbwoodgate | March 6, 2015, 1:21 pm
    • I don’t think they did any of those! It was all stretching and bending, like old fashioned PE, Quite jolly, really.
      I remember crossing the river and being amazed at how green everything was. It was pretty wonderful.

      Posted by elainecanham | March 6, 2015, 6:41 pm

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